Child Star!, by Scott

A few weeks ago, K and I took the girls to the 3^rd Street Promenade, which is an open-air mall in Santa Monica. Though it is only about 20 miles from our home near Pasadena to Santa Monica, the giant wall of cars that litter the freeways of Los Angeles can make such a short drive feel like a caravan to Damascus. However, it was a Sunday, sunny and we had a free afternoon.3^rd St Promenade is cool not just for the ultra-hip stores with ridiculous outfits we would never buy and the legion of homeless asking for leftovers from restaurant patrons. What always makes it fun is the crazy variety of street performers that have set up space every few feet along the open walking path. There are gymnasts, bad singers, break-dancers, Hari Krishnas, magicians, and the occasional animal trick performer with a dog, cat and seriously old-looking parrot in front of a hand-made cardboard sign. You can’t get a better education of what fame for many Los Angelenos really looks like. The girls loved it.Alexa had a Barnes & Noble gift card that she had gotten for her birthday, which was part of the reason why we had taken trip that day. As we walked toward the store, a woman came up to us.- (big voice) Hi! She was young, well-dressed and pretty, which surprised me since that isn’t usually the kind of person who approaches you at the 3^rd St. Promenade. The usual “friendly person” could be smelled from several feet away before they even started to ask you for money.- uh, hi?- Hi, I’m Sarah. Your daughters are just BEAUTiful.- Thanks.- What are your names, girls?- (whisper) Alexa.- (slightly louder whisper) Teja.- Well, Teja and Alexa, I work with a man named Gary Spatz, and he helps put kids in movies and TV shows. Does that sound like fun?- (girls eyeing her as if they had been offered poisoned lollipops) – uh… yeah.- Gary has worked with Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and many MANY others. We are hosting an audition event tomorrow evening and I would be SO HAPPY if you could join us.- …ok. Sarah continued talking for awhile about the audition process, how a parent needed to be there, and all the kids that went on to become stars with their own Disney TV shows. She handed me an invitation, smiled at the girls and was off.I spent most of the afternoon thinking about the brief meeting and the invitation in my pocket. Later that night, I did a bit of research online. Gary Spatz was a real agent, and the audition event was legit. This wasn’t to say that is was anything but an invitation to audition, but there was something thrilling about it. An agent had seen my children and thought it warranted coming and introducing herself. There might be a hundred reasons why she did so, but I’m satisfied to think that it was she saw something in my children that made them special. That was really cool.However, the next thought was:Did I want to take my kids to an audition on the West Side of Los Angeles at 6:30pm on Monday evening?No, nuh-uh, no way. One doesn’t have to live in Los Angeles very long to know child actors and their parents. It is rarely pretty.For kids, even in the best of situations, they have to work and work hard. If they are new, they have to become ok with constant rejection and adults that view them as a product. If they are established, they have all of that, plus the attention of people that don’t know them, judging them and commenting about them. Some very few become ridiculously famous and wealthy, though the vast majority do not. It’s not to say that being a child actor is a bad thing, but it is a pressure that many “mature” adults have difficulty managing, and during one’s formative years, maintaining balance can be very difficult. For the parents, it can be even stranger. At the best, most parents of child actors have to place their lives and careers on hold for their children. They are driving their kids to sets, sitting and watching their treatment, meeting with agents, managers and execs and trying to protect their children from the abuses of the industry. But, then there are loads of the crazy showbiz parents, like Rose from the movie Gypsy, who are pushing their children to have the fame and fortune for which they are obsessed. It can be scary to see those parents, and you can only pity their children.K and I talked.- It’s an opportunity. I don’t want to stand in the way of that if they want to.- Do they really want to do it?- Not sure, but they say yes.- Ok, I’ll take them to the event tomorrow and we’ll see what they think. The next day I picked the girls up from school.- Ok girls, today is the audition event like that lady said. Do you still want to go?-  The what?- The audition for that man who helps people get on Disney shows. Do you want to do that?- (Teja) Eh, can we just go home and watch a show?- (Alexa) Yeah, we can do the audition some other time.- You sure? You just want to go home?- (Teja) And watch a show.- (Alexa) Yeah.- Ok, then. Yes!

Six Reasons Why Dads will Redefine Parenting in the 21st Century, by Scott

In the world currently, I sit in an interesting place demographically. I am a white male living in the United States. I am in my late 30’s, college educated, and am married with two kids.In the history of the world, there has never been a demographic as advantaged as myself. If you take out the economy and perhaps special familial bloodlines (like the Kennedys), I have as many advantages as any sane person could reasonably expect.However, in one area, that’s not true. As a parent, I often feel that I am a second-class citizen.Ok, I think it is important to say, that in my house, I don’t feel that way. I think K and I work hard to carry the responsibility of parenting together. I feel perfectly comfortable to parent my children as part of a team as well as on my own, and as best I can tell, my kids feel that too.However, in the world outside, I don’t think that is entirely true. Dads are, well…Ok, I think we can start by saying that the general wisdom is that dads are less than capable at childrearing. Whole comedic industries have been built around the discussion of Dads as clueless outsiders, unable to change a diaper, let alone figure out how to install a child seat in a car.Largely, I think this outdated. Saying dads can’t take care of their kids is like saying women can’t handle themselves in the office. It’s taken a generation, but no one believes that anymore. And, interestingly enough, the new work world with its more democratic leadership, with an emphasis on communication and partnership, grows ever more the prevue of women. Men are less capable to work in a world filled with collaborative bottom-up strategy sessions and no bison to hunt or giant oxen to maneuver around the field. Fewer and fewer jobs require brute strength and blood lust. Are days in the Boardroom are numbered…So, we fathers are going to have to reconsider our role in society and at home. I’m beginning to think that there are a few reasons why Fathers will be the predominant stay-at-home parent of the 21^st Century.1. We make decisions quickly, which is one of the few places an autocratic leader is really needed in the world anymore.

“No, you can’t watch TV.” “Yes, you can play outside.” “No, I will not get you ice cream.” We are nothing if not efficient in our decision-making.

2. We love sports and activities and are ok with getting dirty.

Duh.

3. We, generally, only know how to make cereal, macaroni and cheese, and/or grilled items.

My children’s eating habits match mine throughout college. Who says you can’t have breakfast for every meal?

4. Unless your child is scratching MOMMY onto my car, I could really care less which preschool they are attending.

Generally, Dads aren’t that judgmental. I think with kids, its really “Don’t become a porn star or rob banks. Otherwise, we’re good.”

5. We’re not ashamed to admit that we actually like children’s TV programming

Ok, maybe not all of it. Barney needs to be thrown to a group of murderous Raiders fans, but at least I can follow the plot of “Johnny Test”.

6. To the best of my knowledge, there are not “helicopter dads”

Insane, sports-crazed monster dads who try to get toddlers to perfect their golf swing before getting out of diapers? Yes.

All the other crazy stuff, no.